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Author
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Topic: How to strike a pose as a Polygraph Examiner
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stat
Member
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posted 07-11-2007 02:12 PM
 
see the "Canada" post (the latter threads)for the preface.
It's funny, as Private Examiners getting an advertisement picture taken, you never know exactly what kind of look you should give when being photographed. Society has such pre-concieved notions as to what sorts of people we are, the soon to be photographed Examiner must address those notions, and decide whether to justify them or crush them. As I stated earlier, Jack T. has a stone-faced approach. His mug will make a tree nervous (ask Cleve.) Dans "spotlight Examiner" is very slick and industrial looking ----he has either a smirk or he has natural epicanthic folds (eye folds) which make him appear to be squinting somewhat like a smiley grimace. I recall that Ted's photo is very au-naturale---in that he sort of looked like he was just photographed by his wife while he was cleaning out the garage (sorry man, the shirt was a little too casual.) All in all, his pic revealed a very nice, open, and perhaps big-hearted man----and that is certainly a way to go. I doubt you'll ever see Ed G wearing a short sleave polo on his website. So what do we do? Do you smile---and risk looking like a dipstick or too nice? Do you try to look mean---like a police cadet picture or a marine private grad? Do you try to look mysterious and omnipresent(Deepak Chopra-esque)---thus risking looking like a serial stalker? Do you give a slight grin---thereby risking looking like a smug con-artist or someone who just passed gas? Or, do you wear all black and look like a german fashionistas or a funeral director? We really have few good alternatives here folks.[This message has been edited by stat (edited 07-11-2007).] IP: Logged |
stat
Member
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posted 07-11-2007 02:34 PM
Incidently, Ray's pic shows that he side-stepped the pose dilema by showing him pretend to do serious work behind the computer---thereby only revealing a profile. Some of us do not desire to reveal so much of our noses and under/over bites. Very cunning Ray, very cunning indeed.An action shot----who says we are inanimate?Perhaps I should use a pic of me at a 2006 Halloween party where I was dressed as a priest with fake green vomit on my robe, standing with my demon-possessed vixon garbed wife (she insisted on being sexy rather scary like Regan)....sigh, women. Isn't it ironic that many Examiners have precisely the same expression as the mugshots from the offenders which they test. [This message has been edited by stat (edited 07-11-2007).] [This message has been edited by stat (edited 07-11-2007).] [This message has been edited by stat (edited 07-11-2007).] IP: Logged |
rnelson
Member
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posted 07-11-2007 03:11 PM
quote:
Perhaps I should use a pic of me at a 2006 Halloween party where I was dressed as a priest with "" green vomit on my robe...
hmm, sounds like one of those public shaming things to me. r ------------------
"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the war room."
--(Stanley Kubrick/Peter Sellers - Dr. Strangelove, 1964)
[This message has been edited by rnelson (edited 07-11-2007).] IP: Logged |
stat
Member
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posted 07-11-2007 03:44 PM
huh?I wasn't insulting your pic or profile, it's just that me and others might not feel comfortable displaying our jimmy durante(sp?) profile. Tell the truth, when the pic was snapped---was it a pose, or were you really working at that very moment? [after a private message from rnelson]
AHA! Now I know what Ray was referring to----regarding the "public shaming" remark. Oh the humanity! Please Ray, take the stage with a power point presentation.
[This message has been edited by stat (edited 07-11-2007).] [This message has been edited by stat (edited 07-11-2007).] IP: Logged |
rnelson
Member
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posted 07-11-2007 04:39 PM
stat:I tried to make an obvious snip of the word "fake" in the quote, but it didn't work. [caving in to peer pressure] As if I have time to pose for pics, or do anything besides real work...
stat's forensic analysis of Dan's modular hair was somehow misdirected to my computer.
http://www.raymondnelson.us/images/mangan.pdf
Somehow I think I'm going to regret this - or at least I'll owe Dan a beer, before he catches my Jimmy Durante schnoz' with that left jab when the Dale Carnegie lessons wear off... - still looking forward to meeting at APA. r
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"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the war room."
--(Stanley Kubrick/Peter Sellers - Dr. Strangelove, 1964)
[This message has been edited by rnelson (edited 07-12-2007).] IP: Logged |
stat
Member
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posted 07-11-2007 04:49 PM
Finally, a good screen saver and pc/laptop wallpaper (I have 3 laptops and 1 PC) "Happy birthday Mr. president (Krapohl).... It's a good thing I don't work in a restaurant, as I might just take that last pic to the restroom with me! lol! [see previous post titled "Help" for that remark] IP: Logged |
stat
Member
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posted 07-11-2007 04:51 PM
tap tap tap. Dan?IP: Logged |
rnelson
Member
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posted 07-11-2007 05:50 PM
Dan's sleeping.Now's a good time to stack all the furniture on top of him. r IP: Logged |
stat
Member
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posted 07-11-2007 06:16 PM
Just got off the phone with Forensic Cosmotologist Dr. Cameron Mousse. He analysed the hair and informed me that barring any lucasarts CGI manipulation, the rare 3 parted ridges and the resulting "loaves" are a result of what is called hypercoifitis. The doctor said it was rare and usually found in ---i told you all so-----anchor men -----and also theatric thesbians----most notably "West Side Story" extras. The doctor further added that it was the kind of hair that a mother brags to her friends at church by proclaiming to her friends "my son's hair is so thick and rich, just like his grandfathers", much to the rolling of eyes of balding onlookers. [This message has been edited by stat (edited 07-12-2007).] IP: Logged |
stat
Member
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posted 07-12-2007 03:33 PM
wow. The silence is deafening. Dan? we were just josh'n man.
Humor us with a commentary. Surely you have more need for this site than to inquire about unrecognized Canadian formats, or for launching sharp intelectual taunts at Barry. This is family-----albeit-- a disfunctional and oft times abusive family----but a family nonetheless.
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Barry C
Member
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posted 07-12-2007 04:41 PM
I can't get to the PDF. Where'd it go?. I could use a laugh - especially at somebody else's expense.IP: Logged |
rnelson
Member
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posted 07-12-2007 04:52 PM
He's probably just busy doing paid work.But I fear no-one will want to take that spot-light examiner slot on the polygraph page, unless we stick to photoshoping (GIMP-ing actually) GM's pics - so here's a start.
http://www.raymondnelson.us/images/GM.gif It's rough, but it was a quick job while I had no-one to argue with over lunch. You'll have to wait a few seconds for the animation.
r
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"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the war room."
--(Stanley Kubrick/Peter Sellers - Dr. Strangelove, 1964)
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rnelson
Member
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posted 07-12-2007 05:09 PM
Ok, try it now.r IP: Logged |
Ted Todd
Member
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posted 07-12-2007 05:14 PM
STAT and Ray,
Now you've done it. Crazy Dan is not being silent.....he is being very angry.His is currently in his basement reloading each of his 26 extended magazines and packing the other supplies he will need to respond to your hazing! RRUUUUNNNNN !!! Ted IP: Logged |
rnelson
Member
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posted 07-12-2007 06:06 PM
Somehow I knew I'd regret that.Is it too late to point out that violence is not the answer? r ------------------
"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the war room."
--(Stanley Kubrick/Peter Sellers - Dr. Strangelove, 1964)
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Barry C
Member
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posted 07-12-2007 07:55 PM
That image is going to invade my brain all night. I can't sleep when I'm laughing!IP: Logged |
rnelson
Member
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posted 07-12-2007 08:17 PM
You like the one with Maschke in the Leif Garrett hair, picking boogers? Long day, heh? r ------------------
"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the war room."
--(Stanley Kubrick/Peter Sellers - Dr. Strangelove, 1964)
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stat
Member
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posted 07-12-2007 08:49 PM
Nice work Ray! The folks at Lucasfilms should be phoning you soon to hire you to computer-generate the new "Star Wars 7" movie titled "Star Wars VII; Yes sir that's my Boba".
tap tap tap. Dan?
p.s. I have at least 3 pedophiles that look exactly like George, minus the d-nose.
[This message has been edited by stat (edited 07-12-2007).] IP: Logged |
rnelson
Member
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posted 07-17-2007 11:21 AM
I will not make fun of others.
I will not make fun of others.
I will not make fun of others.
I will not make fun of others.
I will not make fun of others.
I will not make fun of others.
I will not make fun of others.
I will not make fun of others.
I will not make fun of others.
I will not make fun of others.
I will not make fun of others.
I will not make fun of others.
I will not make fun of others.
I will not make fun of others.
I will not make fun of others.
I will not make fun of others.
I will not make fun of others.
Funny noises are not funny.
I will not rebroadcast without the expressed written permission of Major League Baseball.----------- ... several days with no response....
I apologize if we hurt your feelings Dan.
That was not the intent, but it is always the result that matters most. Peace,
r
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"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the war room."
--(Stanley Kubrick/Peter Sellers - Dr. Strangelove, 1964)
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stat
Member
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posted 07-17-2007 11:23 AM
I'm Sorry Dan. ----statIP: Logged |
Barry C
Member
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posted 07-17-2007 12:13 PM
Turn on CNN. Is that Dan on the ledge?IP: Logged |
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